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I want to share a personal experience, a Bible story, and a metaphor that has deeply impacted me in the first two weeks of my journey in Israel.
People go to Israel to initiate change but find Israel changes them. Some locals have told me that you don't just come to Jerusalem. You are invited directly by God.
After visiting, praying, and crying at the Western Wall, I felt a profound sense of God working in my spirit. I felt small, vulnerable, and helpless with my back to the sun. The conviction in my heart started to sting more. At that moment, I knew I was desperately holding onto the control I had in my life. I saw how I was unwilling to acknowledge God's authority. It was painful but God graciously gave me the strength to let go. It is not easy to accept I can not do this alone. Relinquishing control has been scary:
Life is more unpredictable than it once was.
I have little control over my schedule, activities, and responsibilities. I am losing sight of my life plans.
I have let go of people dear to me back home.
Slowly I am internalizing I am not in control. I never was. I know didn't sign up for a vacation from my problems, I signed up for a year with God!
NEW UNDERSTANDING:
After the Western Wall, I rediscovered a bible story at the dinner table!
On September 13th, I made a meal "lacking depth of flavor." As I reached for the salt, Lot's wife crossed my mind unironically. I stifled a giggle and continued eating. I went on with my evening like usual, but I could not stop thinking about Lot's wife!
Did I really know her story? All I remembered was she got turned to salt because she looked back on her burning city. I searched on my phone for the specific Bible verses. She not only showed up in Genesis but also in Luke.
Jesus clearly says in the chapter of Luke:"Remember Lot's wife! Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it" (Luke 17:32–33).
Something stirred in me when I read that verse. I didn't understand God's reasoning behind turning Lot's wife into a seasoning. So I went back to Genesis to get the original story straight:
THE STORY:
Lot, his wife, and their daughters were fleeing the city of Sodom, which God had deemed worthy of destruction due to its wickedness. On their way out, Lot's wife did not just merely look back—she dragged her heels from Sodom to Zoar, dawdling and wasting time.
By conducting herself in this way, she gave unmistakable evidence that her heart did not believe what the angel of the Lord had said. Very clearly, the angel said:
"Don't look back on what is burning down. Refrain from looking back at what God is delivering you from."
But as we all know, she looked back with longing and was calcified into a pillar of salt, stuck in a place she was only meant to pass through. Her attachment to the past was greater than her commitment to the future. She wanted what she was leaving more than what God had in store.
God spoke to me at that moment. I saw the lesson behind this story in a brand new light.
Sometimes, we are called to leave behind things that are familiar and comfortable to follow a greater purpose. Just as Lot and his family were called to leave behind their home in Sodom, we too may be called to leave behind certain habits, relationships, or even places that are hindering our growth or leading us down a destructive path.
However, just like Lot's wife, we may be tempted to look back and cling to what we are leaving behind. This could be due to fear, doubt, or a desire to hold onto the past. But the consequences of looking back can be severe. In Lot's wife's case, it resulted in her turning into a pillar of salt, a symbol of being stuck in one place and unable to move forward.
NEW MINDSET:
God has delivered me to Israel and restored my mindset: to whom much is given, much is required. I must not "look" back, longing for what God has told me to let go of. I need to be willing to let go of things that are holding me back, even if it means stepping out of my comfort zone. I need to resist the temptation to look back and instead keep my focus on what lies ahead. And finally, I need to trust in God's guidance and plan for my life, even when it may be difficult or uncertain. It will be hard, but I need to let go of things that are familiar but no longer serving me in the way God wants.
I don't know about you...but I do NOT want to be a pillar of salt.
I leave you with this: no human can serve two masters (Matthew 6:24), and loyalty cannot be given with neutrality. Lot's wife has a distinct application to us who are facing the destruction of our society and the nation in which we live. We are living amidst the most significant contagion of worldliness since the time of Noah. What will it be: the world's way or God's way?
I learned a metaphor from an Orthodox Jew in the Old City:
"We all have strings tied to the Lord. Every day, we test our "string." Pulling, we see how far we can stretch it to fit our own will. Sometimes, we pull too hard, and the line snaps, leaving us completely lost. When we find God in our desperation, we tie back our strings closer to him."
Isaiah 41:10 -
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen, help, and uphold you with my righteous right hand. For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says, Do not fear; I will help you."
PRAYERS:
Mark 11:24 - “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
God is answering my prayers one by one. I prayed for no distractions; God removed distractions. I prayed for financial support; God has provided just what I need. I prayed for a relationship with him, and now he has drawn me into Israel, under his wing.
I ask you to pray for me. Pray that God gives me the strength to leave my old self behind and face what he has in store.
I know God has changed my heart in such a short amount of time. Although I am excited about all the new opportunities and adventures that await me, I am also learning to let go of relationships and things back home. It's a beautiful mix of uncertainty and joy, as God is preparing me for something incredible. Thank you for your support and prayers!
I love the story about your understanding of Lot’s wife. So well written and emotionally expressed. Thank you for clearly sharing your heart ♥️ with us!!